I was talking to a friend of mine earlier today, and she was telling me about this woman she was having lunch with the other day. This woman fancies herself as a dating expert, and was giving her views about online dating. In her opinion, women should sleep with any man they meet online as soon as possible. The reason being is by sleeping with him you’ll stop him looking for other women online.
I couldn’t believe it. That has to be some of the worst advice I’ve ever heard!
Sleeping with your online date right away is the worst thing you can do, and here’s the reason why from a male perspective. The chances are the guy you’ve just met online, has only had one date in the last 3 months. He’d have been delighted just to meet you and have the date. For a man looking for love online, getting a date is an amazing result. You see, women have a huge advantage in the online dating scene. There’s something like 4 men for every woman out there. The odds are in your favor.
This guy you’ve just slept with on your first date has been furiously writing and sending email introductions to hundreds of women online. He’s been testing different openers, and trying out different profile pictures. He’s been doing everything he can to try to get women to respond to him.
Most the men who date online find women don’t respond. I know women generally have hundreds of messages of guys to sort through, but I know some “experts” out there who suggest you wait for a guy to message you twice before you respond.
When you only respond to men who chase you, you’re only hearing from the men who choose you, rather than the men you select yourself.
If you’ve been reading my stuff for some time you’ll know I always say it’s a bad idea to have men do all the chasing. When you only respond to men who chase you, you’re only hearing from the men who choose you, rather than the men you select yourself.
So now you’ve met up with this guy and had sex with him to stop him meeting other women. He’s rubbing his hands in delight because he can’t believe how easy it’s been to get sex from you. The women you were trying to stop him running off with, don’t exist. The competition you’re trying to fight off with sex, aren’t there. You should never use sex to close a man anyway, but especially men you meet online. All you’re doing is giving him a flase impression of you, and giving him the wrong idea about meeting women online.
Now he thinks all he has to do is point, click, and have sex. I mean he never gets laid like this when he meets a girl in a bar. Women don’t spread their legs for him like this when he meets them in Whole Foods. But he met a woman online and had sex right away. Now what do you think this guy is going to do?
He’s going to head straight back onto whatever dating site you came from, to see if he can make the same thing happen again. He now assumes women who look for men are an easy target. He’ll also assume you’re not looking for a serious relationship, because in the mind of a man, women who have sex on the first date aren’t the kind who wants to settle down. It may sound odd, but that’s the way we’re wired. It’s something I cover in detail in my dating program for women, “What Men Desire.”
In fact, in that program I give an intimate look into the male mindset, revealing how men think, why we behave as we do, and what we desire in a long-term girlfriend. But one thing is for certain. You don’t need to sleep with your online date right away. You should flirt with him. Get to know him. Show him you’re worth making an effort for. You’ll intrigue him, and in turn, he’ll do everything he can to show you he’s worth your while. Sex is never the right way to close a man, and it doesn’t matter whether you meet him online or offline.