The other day I was at Cairo Healthcare and there was a cute girl working the desk there. We talked about our kids, her annoying pet dog, and our jobs when I noticed she had a sore throat.

When I tried to ask her about it she said, “No, no, my kid’s sick.”

I was skeptical because her voice was rattling and she was straining to speak.

I hope your kid’s feeling better. Are you sure you didn’t catch it?

She said, “No, no I’m fine. Its just that I was yelling at the dog all morning.”

I already knew that. Yeah, we talked about it when I first came in. Are you sure you’re okay?

She didn’t hear.

She was busy texting…

We get task oriented in life. Especially women. Women are great at submerging into a task and paying full attention. Men have a little more ADD.

But, think about this:

Whenever you’re doing a task and another person enters the room, leaves the room, or is trying to have a conversation with you, you need to stop what you’re doing and pay attention, because that person could say something to change your life.

Now, granted, all I was doing was wishing her kid felt better, but imagine if I was trying to flirt with her. Imagine if I had a crush on her. Imagine that was the day I decided to say something to her.

I’d finally mustered up the guts to say something to her, and she didn’t hear me…

So, here’s something I want everybody to do:

The next time somebody says something to you, I want you to stop what you’re doing.

Put down the phone.

Put down the piece of paper you’re looking at.

Put down whatever you’re reading, and…

1. Give Them Your Full Attention

This is really important. Change this habit, because you never know when a sexy man is going to step up to the plate and flirt with you.

The guy that’s been trying to flirt with you, the guy that wants to ask you out, the guy attempting to talk to you is going to feel rejected when you can’t give him two minutes of undivided attention.

He’ll take it as a blow-off. He won’t realize that you were deep in thought, deep in work, or your kids, or whatever you’re doing.

His only thought will be, “She’s not interested.”

2. Stay Present

It’s easy to get caught up in your day-to-day thing.

After all, you’ve got a full plate. Between your jobs, family, friends, you’re always on the go. Technology makes it so easy to quickly answer an email or send a quick text to a co-worker. In the moment it feels like you’re staying ahead of the game. It feels like you’re taking charge of your life.

In reality, you’re distracting yourself from the now. You’re living in a digital world instead of the real one and you’re missing out.

Every single day, somebody’s trying to talk to you, but you’re not paying attention.

3. Be Empathetic

I know you’re busy, but think about the times in your life when you needed to talk to someone but they were buried in a book or television show or their phone.

Didn’t you feel lower than dirt? There’s nothing worse than not being heard.

Maybe what this person is telling you isn’t going to change your life, but you listening could easily change theirs. If someone is confiding in you, big or small, it’s because they trust you. Value that trust and give them the time they deserve.

4. Make the Change

Think about the connections you could be making by taking the time to listen to what this stranger is telling you. It will change the way you think about listening.

For more about how to be a better listener, check out my blog, 3 Ways to be a Better Date.

Being present is everything. The more present you are, the greater chances you have to connect with members of the opposite sex. The greater chance you’re going to find the connection you crave.

Think about how you can be more present in your day-to-day life.

Think about how you listen, how you’re participating in life, and think about how you will react the next time somebody speaks to you.

Drop everything. Smile back, engage, and be present.

Don’t miss out on the opportunities that are so sublime and all around you just because you were checking your Facebook.

Laura Govan Sues Gilbert Arenas for Kicking Her Out, Selling Engagement Ring


They were one of Hollywood’s most notorious on-again, off-again couples, but now Laura Govan is suing Gilbert Arenas for kicking her out of their, umm, er, HIS LA mansion and selling her $1 million engagement ring.

TMZ garnered court documents in which Govan claims she started dating Arenas in 2002 before he had a $200 million NBA contract.

Although they have never been married, she said they lived together as husband and wife. They have four children together. He promised her they would share his income equally as if they were married starting in 2003.

They officially broke up when Arenas told her to vacate the premises of their home in December 2014. Then, he “forcefully took” the engagement ring, selling it without her permission. Initially, he bought it for her back in 2008.


Phaedra Parks Finally Decides to Divorce Apollo Nida

phaedra & apollo
It took five years, but Phaedra Parks has finally decided to divorce her incarcerated husband Apollo Nida.

During the latest episode of “Real Housewives of Atlanta,” which aired Sunday (March 22), an emotional Parks confided in her friend Sarah Jakes about the reasons surrounding her change of heart with Nida.

For Parks, it was a case of Nida foiling her efforts to be the perfect wife with doing anything he could to be mean and hurtful.

“I said I would support him through the criminal trouble,” Phaedra sobbed to Jakes, who is the daughter of famed pastor T.D. Jakes. “I should have probably left then.”

Looking back on her marriage, Parks detailed how Nida terrorized their home, saying it was “never a peaceful night’s sleep” because he was “always getting into fights.”

Despite this, Parks admitted that she has peace for the first time in years.

“I don’t live in fear of ‘what has Apollo done, what will he do next?’” Parks continued. “I can go to sleep knowing that he’s not going to hurt himself or hurt anybody around him.”

As far as the next step to take, Parks sought advice a few days later from her mentor and fellow attorney Ronnie Kaplan, who is concerned about the well being of Nida and Parks’ two boys.

“They need to have as much contact as possible with their dad,” Kaplan told Parks.

Although she wants her sons to continue to have a strong relationship their father, Parks mentioned not being a fan of going to the federal prison Nida is at in Kentucky for her visits. Parks mentioned her main reasons for opting out of seeing Nida , which included her busy work schedule as well as a fear her sons will be exposed to “a room full of killers.”

When asked why she chose Nida knowing he was going to be behind bars for five years, Parks alluded to being into someone she thought was “a changed man.”

“I married him because I knew that he loved me. Some people do change their lives and make a difference…maybe he was conning me the whole time,” she shared with Kaplan.

Kaplan stated that while it’s possible to file for divorce while Nida is in prison and not present, Parks should take it slow.

“We’ll get through it,” he told her. “It’s a sad time. A divorce is a death. A death of a relationship.”

As one relationship ends, the door is left open for the rest of the housewives to fix their relationships among each other.

Taking NeNe Leakes up on her suggestion to attend a group counseling session, Kandi Burruss, Claudia Jordan, Porsha Williams and Kenya Moore attempt to work things out.

The kicker is Leakes bailed out early, leaving the remaining ladies to hash out their issues.

Moore admitted that her relationship with Williams was doomed from the beginning, as evidenced by their altercation during the “RHOA” season six-finale fight. As it turned out, Moore still felt like she was “attacked” and Williams didn’t apologize.

It was then that Dr. Jeff reminded Moore that she attacked Williams, who maintained that she was “provoked,” too.

As the session continued, a lot of things happened as Williams confronted Moore and Jordan over accusations that she a slept with a married man. Apparently, Williams hasn’t let the situation go.

In Jordan’s eyes, Williams took sides when Leakes attacked her during their trip to Puerto Rico.

“It is OK for you to sit there and laugh at another woman calling me a whore. But when I bring up what you’re actually, really doing — allegedly — it hurts you,” Jordan said in her confessional as she admitted that it was wrong to bring up Williams’’ personal business in front of the group.

Dr. Jeff then asks if Jordan would apologize to Williams for bringing her personal business into the session. As a result, Jordan does apologize.

Moore follows suit in accepting responsibility for her role in the fight in Puerto Rico as well as provoking Williams. As with Jordan, Williams accepts Moore’s apology.

Leakes may have left early, but she was still in the minds of the housewives as Moore suggested they send a video to Leakes as proof of them wanting to make amends with her while asking Leakes if she wants to do the same.

The gesture may have been a good one, but at least one housewife was reluctant to get down with it.

“This is why she feels she can do this to people. Because they kiss her ass!” Burruss vented in her confessional.


Kenya Moore Goes Public with her New ‘Millionaire Matchmaker’ Man

Finally, after months of keeping him a secret, viewers got their first look at Kenya Moore’s new boyfriend, chosen during an episode of “Millionaire Matchmaker” that aired Sunday.

His name is James, and according to the episode, they are still together.

“This man is 6’3″, gorgeous, kind, romantic. What else can a woman be looking for? ‘Cause if he’s not it, I give up,” said the “Real Housewives of Atlanta” star.

She posted a photo of herself with James to Instagram after the episode along with the caption, “Sometimes you can spend your whole life looking for Prince Charming when a King arrives. Thank you @pattistanger and @cynthiabailey10 and my fans for your love and support and desire for my happiness.”


Keyshia Cole Apologizes for Slamming Husband on Instagram

keyshia-cole-daniel-boobie-gibsonKeyshia Cole recanted her previous slams toward estranged husband Daniel Gibson after weeks of fighting on social media, according to theGrio.

The “Next Time (Won’t Give My Heart Away)” singer blasted Gibson after accusing him of cheating (again). She even came for his parenting skills on Instagram and Twitter.

It started when she posted about his latest attempt at cheating. She wrote on Instagram, “I guess the starting over as ‘Friends’ thing doesn’t work. How could you invite me to a video shoot, but your trying to mess with the ‘love interest’ while your wife is there!”

Now the two are repairing their relationship once again. “Everything is not for everybody. Gib is a Great father. I’m just ready to put this all behind me/Begin my healing process for once Nd for all,” she posted.


Derek Fisher Files for Divorce from Wife of 10 Years

Derek Fisher and his wife Candace Fisher arrive at the 2008 Sports Spectacular VIP After Party on June 1, 2008 at the X-Bar at The Hyatt Regency Century Plaza in Century City, California.

Former Los Angeles Lakers great and current New York Knicks coach Derek Fisher has filed for divorce from his wife Candace, just one month after they celebrated their 10 year anniversary, reports TMZ.

Fisher filed in Los Angeles citing irreconcilable differences, according to the website.

The couple has twin children together, including a daughter who suffered from a rare form of eye cancer. Fisher was famously allowed to break his contract with the Utah Jazz in 2007 so he could spend more time with her and help her with treatment.

Fisher is asking for joint legal and physical custody of the children. He also wants to split the legal costs.

Fisher issued a statement saying, “This is a difficult time for me personally. For the sake of our children, I ask that everyone respects our privacy during this process.”


Robin Thicke, Paula Patton Officially Divorced


They separated 13 months ago, and now Robin Thicke and Paula Patton are officially divorced, according to E! News.

The high school sweethearts began dating in 1993. They exchanged vows in 2005 and welcomed their only child, Julian Fuego Thicke, in 2010.

In early 2014, after Thicke’s career hit another level with “Blurred Lines” featuring Pharrell and T.I., the couple separated. Patton officially filed for divorce in October, a few months after his apology album to save their marriage, entitled “Paula,” bombed on the charts.

Last week, a jury ruled that Thicke and Pharrell’s “Blurred Lines” infringed on Marvin Gaye’s copyrighted 1977 song “Got to Give It Up” and awarded Gaye’s family a total of $7.4 million.


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