The other day I was at Cairo Healthcare and there was a cute girl working the desk there. We talked about our kids, her annoying pet dog, and our jobs when I noticed she had a sore throat.
When I tried to ask her about it she said, “No, no, my kid’s sick.”
I was skeptical because her voice was rattling and she was straining to speak.
I hope your kid’s feeling better. Are you sure you didn’t catch it?
She said, “No, no I’m fine. Its just that I was yelling at the dog all morning.”
I already knew that. Yeah, we talked about it when I first came in. Are you sure you’re okay?
She didn’t hear.
She was busy texting…
We get task oriented in life. Especially women. Women are great at submerging into a task and paying full attention. Men have a little more ADD.
But, think about this:
Whenever you’re doing a task and another person enters the room, leaves the room, or is trying to have a conversation with you, you need to stop what you’re doing and pay attention, because that person could say something to change your life.
Now, granted, all I was doing was wishing her kid felt better, but imagine if I was trying to flirt with her. Imagine if I had a crush on her. Imagine that was the day I decided to say something to her.
I’d finally mustered up the guts to say something to her, and she didn’t hear me…
So, here’s something I want everybody to do:
The next time somebody says something to you, I want you to stop what you’re doing.
Put down the phone.
Put down the piece of paper you’re looking at.
Put down whatever you’re reading, and…
1. Give Them Your Full Attention
This is really important. Change this habit, because you never know when a sexy man is going to step up to the plate and flirt with you.
The guy that’s been trying to flirt with you, the guy that wants to ask you out, the guy attempting to talk to you is going to feel rejected when you can’t give him two minutes of undivided attention.
He’ll take it as a blow-off. He won’t realize that you were deep in thought, deep in work, or your kids, or whatever you’re doing.
His only thought will be, “She’s not interested.”
2. Stay Present
It’s easy to get caught up in your day-to-day thing.
After all, you’ve got a full plate. Between your jobs, family, friends, you’re always on the go. Technology makes it so easy to quickly answer an email or send a quick text to a co-worker. In the moment it feels like you’re staying ahead of the game. It feels like you’re taking charge of your life.
In reality, you’re distracting yourself from the now. You’re living in a digital world instead of the real one and you’re missing out.
Every single day, somebody’s trying to talk to you, but you’re not paying attention.
3. Be Empathetic
I know you’re busy, but think about the times in your life when you needed to talk to someone but they were buried in a book or television show or their phone.
Didn’t you feel lower than dirt? There’s nothing worse than not being heard.
Maybe what this person is telling you isn’t going to change your life, but you listening could easily change theirs. If someone is confiding in you, big or small, it’s because they trust you. Value that trust and give them the time they deserve.
4. Make the Change
Think about the connections you could be making by taking the time to listen to what this stranger is telling you. It will change the way you think about listening.
For more about how to be a better listener, check out my blog, 3 Ways to be a Better Date.
Being present is everything. The more present you are, the greater chances you have to connect with members of the opposite sex. The greater chance you’re going to find the connection you crave.
Think about how you can be more present in your day-to-day life.
Think about how you listen, how you’re participating in life, and think about how you will react the next time somebody speaks to you.
Drop everything. Smile back, engage, and be present.
Don’t miss out on the opportunities that are so sublime and all around you just because you were checking your Facebook.